all about discipline

What to say ? I can't get max value from my cards.
I consistently do table selection (with max flop seens) in nl4 FR. Playing from 4 to 6 tables, yet whenever i get good hands they never go far only flop and that's about it.
But whenever i get to turn and there's a flush, i can't help but questionning myself what he has, sometimes he really does have a flush sometimes not, but when you don't hit, it's hard to steal the blind...
But more important is : i feel like being the only fish because i'm very often the most active player on the tables giving or gaining the most money, but lately i've been losing (on a -5 bi lose since 3 days in 800 hands, i know it means nothing but i'm seriously losing confidence because i can't fucking get allin moneys whenever i've the nuts. And when i do it's because i'm calling 2/3 or 3/4 of the pot in flush draw board and hitting it which is -EV right ? So i don't know what to do).
What i really want is some subtitles videos in order to know if what i am doing is right because this is somewhat frustrating when i see there are players with 2 bi on the tables with 50+/xx as stats which is pissing me off.

I really hope what i'm doing is not wrong otherwise i'd just have to stop but i don't want it, cauz i'm never giving this fucking sh.t up at least not before i'll go broke.
Will try to play more nitty and RAISING MORE.

Here's the graph

Maybe i'm stealing too much or raising too much my nuts that never get paid... I don't know.
But i won't give up.

Hello lpers,
As i was about to go to tennis with a friend overexcited about hitting some hard balls, i just found out way more ppl than average in front of the club. They were all wearing in dark, at first i didn't realize it was for someone's memory untill a good friend of him told me that my training coach was the one to go to the heaven. I really couldn't believe it untill i saw many ex tennis' coaches and friends and so on. I was pretty shocked. I was hyped in the morning and suddendly i'm sad. Way to fuck it up in 1 day.
What can i say ? I've known him for over 10 years, was really nice, always smiling and always helping someone struggling.
The saddest part is that he was only 28 years old. I don't know anything except that we found him in his house with a heart's attack.
I also know his family, a very peaceful one, i don't know about you but i'm glad that i didn't see them before leaving the club because i'm pretty sure they'd be more sad than me and i couldn't support them at all. Later surelly.
God.

R.I.P Francois Kerembellec, my dearest coach and friend. I'll for sure never forget you for what you've done for me. Farewell.

The following chat was observed
And E-penisshe want you to get to her hoe
you're pretty fucked.Oufc69 is just an attention w|-|ore
she want you to get to her home then you're pretty ****ed if she's in fact fatty.Oufc69 is just an attention w|-|ore



Whatever. I was just getting tired of e-flirt or e-date because there was some nice chick pic and then she say it's herself... blablabla
Long story short, I should've just stfu myself because WHY DO I CARE ?
It pisses me off thought when i see some long Age Sex City ramblings or something and then it never finishes...
Especially when there's like 0.0001% chance of a date happening.
God seems like i'm jealous. wtf...